I think I've written about this topic a million times recently. But it's an issue that's been on my mind more than anything else lately. How does a working mom balance the responsibilities of raising a family while working? I've been feeling stretched too thin lately!
I'll be the first to admit that I had it really easy. After my daughter was born, I decided to quit my job and devote my life to raising my daughter. My hubby was making good money, and we had pretty low overhead, so it made sense for us.
Only, I was pretty bored. I'm not the world's best housekeeper. In fact, I'm probably up there among the worst. I'm not the least bit interested in decorating. Cooking and baking can be fun, but it's not something I can spend the whole day doing. Once my daughter was old enough to be in school, I found myself getting more and more bored.
I looked for part-time work, but it was nearly impossible in this economy. I was really over-qualified for everything I applied for, so I never received interviews. My luck changed about a year ago. A friend who was a high-level executive at an internet start-up hired me. It was great to reenter the workforce and make some money again. Then a really big internet company acquired the firm. They considered working as little as 30 hours a week to be full-time, so I increased my hours to get benefits. Now, I'm working 30 hours a week on top of a 2-hour round trip commute. I'm still the parent with primary responsibility for cooking, laundry, and care-giving. My weekday starts at 5:30 am and often goes nonstop until 9:30 pm.
While I love being back in the workforce, I sometimes feel that I'm not balancing all my responsibilities very well. I'm often impatient with my daughter and husband. I feel like I'm not always on top of my game at work. It's a huge challenge to please everybody. And "me" time? Just about nonexistent.
I know I still have it pretty good. I have no idea how single moms who have more than one kid do it.
Yikes.
I've done that and am doing that (with a little hiatus due to my shoulder injury). The 30 hours of work doesn't get to me too much. I'm betting it is the drive that is killing you. Being stuck in LA traffic for two hours per day is enough to put anybody on edge. Try to make the most of your time in the car, whether it is by getting necessary phone calls out of the way or, like Steve, enjoying some good audio books. It gets "better" as your child gets older. Ian is now 12, and he is so independent and busy with his computer and video games, let alone being a self starter on his homework, that I am lucky if he has time to sit with me other than during dinner. I make sure we have some one on one time by asking him to help me with some errands, and also plan fun family activities during our down time to allow all of us to catch up.
ReplyDeleteI've always said that the at home stuff is definitely a full time job. Any chance a house cleaner/or part time housekeeper is in the cards. A cousin who is a school principal loves working, they have a housekeeper, because she says when she's home it's just relaxing with her kids. Hope it works out, the commute sounds brutal.
ReplyDeleteDana
I don't know how old your daughter is but maybe she can help out a little with chores. I have my son vacuum each day. Granted he doesnt do the best job but at least it gets done
ReplyDeleteI remember those days. I worked all the time my kids were little and it was really hard. It gets better as the kids get older. I didn't have a choice and I am happy that I did it because now my kids are gone, but I still have my career....
ReplyDeleteI've done the single mom full-time job thing...it ain't easy and it ain't fun. I feel like I missed out on a lot of my daughter's growing up. I'm so grateful for the good family and good friends I had who helped fill in the gaps.
ReplyDeleteThe commute sounds tough, but the job sounds like one you really enjoy.
ReplyDeleteYikes is right! Sounds rough! You say sometimes you don't feel like your balancing it all very well but man, the fact that you ARE balancing it at all counts for everything! Thats crazy hard. Great post, I really like your blog!
ReplyDeleteTell your husband to get off his butt and do some of the work!
ReplyDeleteSharing makes life so much easier....good luck with all. Hugs, Karen
ReplyDeleteI only work part-time and I'm already so ready to "retire." But I don't know how long I would last before I would go stir crazy. Hope things get a little easier for you soon. =)
ReplyDeleteI was that single parent with a young child and as the supervisor of a Head Start center and a classroom teacher, it was tough. But then it was very rewarding because I felt like I made a difference. Even though I did not make a high wage, I took my clothes to the laundry mat ever other week where they washed and folded my clothes. We also ate out a couple of times a week because it was cheaper to do that than cook, we ate at the kids eat free places, drank water and I got something cheap to eat. I used my crockpot alot! It was so nice to have dinner ready when I walked through the door. Now I have a wonderful husband who is retired and helps out at home. I still have someone come and clean my house, it's worth it to me. Do not despair, it will get better! Be glad you have a job and during that long commute, I would listen to books on CD, they are free at the library.
ReplyDeleteTough decisions...I stayed home most of the time when my kids were kids. Then life changed and I had to work. That's why I'm in the low paying rut I'm in right now. Good thing the kids are all grown...I can't imagine being a single mom now. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteYou are a very Special lady and I am Sure that your feelings of being Stretched to thin are valid...
ReplyDeleteRemember you deserve Some time for yourself, So don't Skimp in that...
Great post for the letter "S"!
Thanks for linking.
A+
Hello.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a parent, but I know firsthand how easy it is to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life. It's tough to fit in some "me" time. best thing is to talk it out with your husband & see if he can relieve some of the jobs you do at home to free up more time for you. Regardless, I commend you for everything you are doing now. Wishing you all the best.
Sitting At My Desk
I feel for you! I'm a work-at-home-mom and I have a very hard time getting it all done. There are never enough hours in the day. Can you find a way to make your commute enjoyable? Audio books can help you transition from work to home--or at least I found them helpful when I was working full time with a commute.
ReplyDeleteI think the idea of a work-life balance is a little ludicrous. You'll never be completely balanced. Maybe accepting the fact that something is going to be unbalanced will help make it easier to let go.
In any case, please know that many parents feel the crunch and we understand where you're coming from. Keep up the good work!