After the tantrum she had at home, my husband commented on how much more patient I am than he is during them. I was shocked to hear this, since this wasn't always the case. I use to tantrum along with my daughter! I don't know when exactly this changed. I think it's a function of two reasons.
One big change is that my daughter and I used to be together nonstop, especially during her (really) terrible twos. I was so worn down, that I don't think I had any reserves. Even when she went to preschool, the three-hour break a day I'd get for two or three days a week, while heavenly at first, wasn't enough to really regain sanity. So when my daughter tantrummed, I would often lose my patience and yell and scream.
Now, she isn't tantrumming as much and she's at school for over 6 hours a day. These two things make it a lot easier to deal with when it does happen. Her tantrums are much shorter in duration than they used to be too. So, I find it a lot easier to cope with when they happen.
The other big change is that I've learned techniques to deal with them when they happen. The biggest technique is to just simply ignore the tantrum and walk away. During my daughter's last tantrum, she expressed anger when I started to ignore her. I simply told her that if she wanted my attention, she had to simply stop crying, and I'd give it to her. Now that she's older, she realizes that she won't get her way by tantrumming. It doesn't stop them from happening completely but it does help with the duration.
My husband went from telling me I needed to learn to model appropriate behavior during our daughter's tantrums to complimenting me on my patience and composure!
I've come a long way! But I think I have because my daughter's come a long way too!