Reading Social Cues and Asperger's

When we had our parent/teacher conference back in December, we got an excellent report on our daughter's academics. Her first grade teacher told us that she's an exceptional reader, which wasn't a surprise to us. She comprehends books at almost the fifth grade level and can read 174 words a minute. When I shared that statistic with my daughter, she said that's her slowed-down time. She can read much faster, but the teacher couldn't hear her enunciate the words adequately. Whatever. Apparently, the teacher thought our daughter had exceptional writing skills also. Not penmanship-writing (that sucks), but her sentence construction is exceptional. I wonder if I have a future blogger on my hands.

The teacher pointed out a couple of problem areas, however. One issue is that her socialization with the other kids isn't great. This, of course, isn't a surprise to us. That's why we got her assessed for autism in the first place. The teacher said that this has been improving as the school year has been progressing, which I've seen as well! That's great news! Yay!

The teacher pointed out another area that concerns her. When our daughter speaks in front of the class, she can get a bit long-winded, and she can't read her peers' reactions to shorten her story or react to their cues. While this is an extremely valid criticism--and really true--it's a big aspect of autism. I mentioned that this is really a part of her disability, and she is getting some help in this area. The teacher pointed out that she's been getting this assistance for 3 months, but she hasn't seen any progress. I was surprised by that comment. For more complex skill such as reading other people, it could take a lifetime for someone on the spectrum to master. It's really not an easy problem to fix. I'm sure there are high-functioning kids on the spectrum that will never conquer this because this is simply too difficult of a skill to master.

Our daughter actually can read the social cues of other people, but she needs to be prompted. When she received behavior therapy, the behaviorist used to look away and ignore my daughter when she started to get long-winded. After a couple of minutes of my daughter still rambling on, the behaviorist would ask, "Am I paying attention?" My daughter could always accurately assess that she wasn't. She then knew how to change her behavior. But it really takes the prompting for her to take notice. A few days ago, I was surprised that she did read my husband's disinterest in some silliness she was engaged in. She actually stopped herself and said that since he wasn't interested, she'd stop. I was shocked. This is the first time I've seen her do that.

Some of her behaviors have been relatively easy to gain ground on, others not so much. I know that reading other people's social cues can be a really difficult skill to master. Whether she'll ever be able to totally master it, I don't know. I do know that she certainly has the foundation to be able to, so I'm hopeful.