Last week, we took a 4-day cruise out of Long Beach, California. We took the exact same cruise last year. It's relatively inexpensive and only a 45-minute drive from my house (with little to no traffic). What could be easier? Okay, so we've probably are falling into a rut, but it's the type of vacation you don't have to give any kind of thought to. So, here is my list of the top 10 highlights (okay some low lights are mixed in)!
1. Ship Mascot, Fun-Ship Freddy
The cruise line has a mascot inspired by the smokestack of the ship! Isn't he lovely? He's called Fun-Ship Freddy. It's his job to be sure your child has a great time on the ship. My daughter LOVED him! Most of the kids I saw LOVED him. I only saw one 8-year old boy running away in horror. All the rest of the kids treated him like he was a celebrity.
On the last night of the cruise, my daughter went to a kids' farewell party at the disco. Fun-Ship Freddy was there too! My daughter told me that she was dancing with him! Unfortunately, he stepped on her foot, but she said it didn't hurt too badly. I asked her if he felt bad about doing it. She thought about it and said that she couldn't tell since he always had that huge smile on his face!
My daughter really wanted a Fun-Ship Freddy stuffed animal (er, stuffed smokestack) which we promised her if she behaved during the vacation. She behaved like a dream, so she now has her very own Fun-Ship Freddy stuffed smokestack!
2. TeaBecause my daughter missed out on going to tea a week ago (see
here), I promised to take her when we were on the cruise. They hold a tea during the last full-day when we're at sea the whole day. They held the tea in the America bar, which is a gaudy place with the American flag painted everywhere. Other than the tacky location, the tea was very nice. They had a piano player playing soft background music while they passed around carts containing finger sandwiches and lovely desserts. They also had a tea server who let you choose among ten types of tea. My daughter and I stayed for a whole 15 minutes. We were kind of desserted-out, and my daughter was bored, so I let her return to the kid's club. At least she got to see what a tea was about!
3. DolphinsDuring our first night at sea, during dinner, a school of dolphins swam past the ship! A lot of people stopped eating to watch the dolphins swim past. It was very cool, but the only time we noticed them during the whole trip!
4. Hypnotist ShowWe took our daughter to see the hypnotist show one night. She had never heard of hypnosis before, but really enjoyed watching people get hypnotized and do goofy things. I think her favorite part of the show was when the hypnotist had people think they were smelling the worst farts that they were doing. He then had them take off their shoes to use as gas masks. For the rest of the cruise, we used "hypnosis" to get our daughter to take her yucky medicine and to go to sleep at night. It was pretty funny!
5. Kids' Talent ShowLike the cruise last year, my daughter managed to get herself roped into the kids' talent show. I really enjoyed watching her perform this year though! She and another girl danced to the Chipette version of "Single Ladies." They looked adorable! Of course, the cruise ship staff couldn't hold the talent show without Fun-Ship Freddy being there! They forced him to sit and hand out certificates when the kids were done performing. They forgot to bring music for one child's dance, so they put on Fun-Ship Freddy's song (who knew he had one?) and made him dance with the kid. As my daughter had pointed out, poor Freddy is stuck with a big smile on his face. Yet, as he was sitting there, he looked like he was in pure misery. We're pretty sure he was hoping that someone would take him out of his misery. Alas, no one did!
6. Try to Make Money at Every OpportunityPaying money to go on a cruise isn't the sole way the ship makes its money. In fact, it's relatively cheap to go on a cruise. I think their bread and butter is what they make once you're on the ship. They don't waste any opportunities! One way they do this is with photo opportunities. These have gone so overboard, so to speak. When we were getting off the ship at Ensenada, they tried to have you take about 5 different pictures. First, they want you to pose on the gangway behind a wheel that says "Ensenada." Then, they want you to pose by a woman wearing Aztec clothes. Then, they want you to pose by a man wearing Mayan garb. It goes on and on and on. During the cruise, they have photo ops EVERYWHERE. In addition, at all the kid events, they make sure to have merchandise that you can buy. At the kids' talent show, the counselors were all wearing Fun-Ship Freddy t-shirts. As I mentioned, they put Freddy to work during the show. Wouldn't you know that at the end of they show, you could buy your child his/her very own Freddy t-shirt? Yup, they pretty much had Freddy there to shill his shirts. Did I mention that drinks started at $7.50 with most costing $10? Yikes!
7. Food, Glorious Food!How could I not include food on the list, right? The food was actually better than last year's cruise. The desserts were outright sublime. I'm pretty much happy not having to cook, so I enjoyed the meals immensely. But it is insane how often you can eat on a ship! One night, I stayed up late and hit a party on the pool deck. I saw people carrying around plates of Mexican food that looked pretty good. I found myself standing in a long line just because I was craving a taco. I looked at my watch and saw that it was midnight. I was horrified that I was waiting in line to eat a taco at midnight! That was the only time I almost did something insane. Otherwise, I was pretty good--except for desserts which I had about two times a day, every day.
The ship was crazy about my daughter's nut allergy. Last year, they pretty much ignored it. This year, they were hyper-vigilant. They made me order her food a day in advance so they could be sure it was prepared in a nut-free environment. This was pretty nice accommodation, but one night, they didn't serve my daughter her dinner until they were just about to pass out desserts. They would also freak out if we tried to give her ketchup with her fries--"Are you sure ketchup is safe? I don't know if we can do that!" Yikes!
8. Cruise DirectorWe had the same cruise director as last year! I think he must be self-loathing. His name is Jeff Bronson. On last year's cruise, he went by Jeff Brrrrrrrronson! I'm not kidding. Even the cruise schedules would spell his name like this (exclamation point and all). On this year's cruise, his name was spelled correctly on the cruise schedules (with no exclamation point), but he would say his name with a bad French accent (Jeff Brou-sou). I don't know if he changes his name for each cruise, or if he changes it each year. I don't care. I think he should just deal with the fact that his name is Jeff Bronson. Own it. Live with it.
9. Cute Animals Made from TowelsEvery night when we returned to our cabin, our cabin stewardess left a cute animal made from towels. They were really amazing--even better than last year's animals. She made an amazing monkey, rabbit, and some other animal I can't remember. The only misfire was the last night when she did a baby. That one was kind of disturbing.
10. No Mention of V-Word My daughter went through the whole cruise without saying the word, vagina (see
here)! Her behavior was top-notch through the whole cruise. She really does travel well--even when she's sick.
So now we're back home and readjusting. I finally don't feel like I'm on a ship anymore--does anyone else feel like the ground is moving for a day or so after getting off a cruise? We're also all recovering from the respiratory infection my daughter gave us. Yay! Now, I have to go back to preparing the meals. It's good to be back home though!