Because my daughter's behavior can be cyclical in nature, I'm assuming it's going to be a little rough going over the next couple of weeks. I just have to keep telling myself that this too shall pass. I also have to remind myself that her worse days now are still better than her best days used to be.
Also, something positive did come out of a tantrum she had last night. My daughter didn't want to do part of her homework. She completed her 6 worksheets, and I rewarded her with time to play on the computer. But, it was under the condition that she would finish the rest of her homework after dinner. This was the toughest part of her homework. She had to write six sentences using her spelling words. Now, my daughter is definitely academically advanced, but this is a tough thing for her to do. Because of her autism, she has a hard time generating sentences, and once she does, actually writing the sentences is hard for her to do.
So, when it was time for her to write her sentences, she started complaining that she was tired and wanted to do other things instead, like play hula hoop or read a book. After much crying and fighting, she finally sat down to write her sentences. She ordered me to stay away from her. Because I was so angry, I said, "No problem!" and left her alone to do her work. Usually, she needs my help with coming up with sentences. I was sure she would come out to ask for help at any moment.
And sure enough, she did come out a mere 10 minutes later! Only, she didn't ask for help. She came out to tell me she had finished her sentences. I was surprised! I looked over her sentences, and she did an amazing job on them. All on her own, in much less time than she usually takes!
I told her that while I didn't like the fight we had, I was certainly impressed with the results.
This morning, my daughter had amazing behavior. She was in a great mood and didn't let every little thing get her upset in the least. I'm hoping the good cycle is beginning!
Oh the cycles. I know that false sense of security gets me every time. It's hard after the good cycle because you start thinking,"You know how to do this!" When they are so high functioning it's hard to remember that them "knowing" sometimes has nothing to do with it.
ReplyDeleteYea for her in finishing her homework! Last year my son turned in 6% of his assignments. He doesn't see the point in it and refuses to do it.
ReplyDeleteAt least something good came out of it! Hope this is the start of a good cycle!
ReplyDeleteGreat job showing the downs and ups of parenting.
ReplyDeleteYay, I hope she stays happy. Currently, my son is crying because he can't beat a Nintendo DS game.
ReplyDeleteWow! I hope things are on an upswing....sure is hard sometimes. These are the things nobody tells you about parenting.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Mom. You sure must be proud that she was able to do the sentences on her own. It may not seem like much, but it's the little things that keep adding up. Now, if only the mood swings would go a little bit easier for you...I'll keep you in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteSo maybe something good came out of it and you don't have to help her as much with her homework as you thought! I finally got around to watching that Monica and David documentary on HBO...the mom had a great quote (that I will inaccurately paraphrase)...about how we get so mad when others underestimate them but then we are often the worst offenders. I'm going to remember that.
ReplyDeleteSo glad today was off to a great start! Here's hoping she just had a little one day glitch and now she's on her upswing :) Have a great week!
ReplyDeleteIm thinking thats alot of homework..poor thing... im happy you both got through it.... hugs
ReplyDeleteI've been rereading some of the stuff from the Gesell Institute on neurotypical development. His basic idea (which I believe has been validated by observation) is that development proceeds in a spiral, with several months of advancement or ease are nearly always followed by several months of consolidation or turmoil.
ReplyDeleteI found the Gesell books to be really helpful in understanding my stepkids & kept them around as my daughter grew.
Yes honey it does get better, you posts always takes me back to those days. But even my 7 year old has meltdowns over homework and he's NT. If she has not alreay been learning to keyboard start her now. That is what saves my son now in 7th grade, because of the fine motor delay he uses a keyboard "neo" for all his school work, he can take notes on it and do all his writing work.
ReplyDeleteThere is this great typing program staring sponge bob and all my kids love learning typing skills with it.
I really think she had too much homework, thats too much for anyone...as you know aspies get overwelmed easy, I'd limit the homework and avoid the fight. :) Hope you week gets better!
That's awesome when they surprise you in a good way. Like the other nite, my son was giggling way too loud and it was near his bed time. I stormed over to his room ready to tell him to get off the computer and turn off the TV. When I got there, he was on his bed reading. Reading a book for pleasure! I scampered away with my tail between my legs.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad things got better. It's amazing how far a few good moments can go. Mothering is so hard; you need every reward you can get.
ReplyDelete*Happy Dance*
ReplyDeleteWOW, I'm amazed. My 3rd grader spent 45min. (with me scribing for him) struggling to create 8 sentences from his words. I decided to help the process by having him tell me what to write and how to spell each word as he composed the sentences. It did make things go much smoother, but it was still like pulling wisdom teeth.
BTW, I do think the number of pages she had for homework was just too much! One an evening for a first grader is plenty!!!!