The Vagina Dialogues
A long time ago, I read some parenting advice that said you shouldn't come up with cutesy names for private body parts. Kids should know what the appropriate names are. So, my daughter has known that her private body part is called a vagina for years. This hasn't been an issue until recently when she started referring to that particular body part quite frequently. She seems to go out of her way to bring it up in conversations.
For example, last week, my husband playfully tossed one of her barrettes at her, and she blocked it with her body. She yelled out, "I caught it with my vagina!" A few days later, as we were expecting my sister, brother-in-law, and nephews to arrive, we were playing a board game. She sat on some of the pieces and said, "They're hiding under my vagina!"
At this point, I realized that I needed to have a talk with her about discretion. I told her that "vagina" was a perfectly good word to use, but it shouldn't be used in front of guests or other people. I asked her if she knew why, and she correctly responded that it was because it was a private body part. She promised me she wouldn't just bring it up in conversation around other people.
I thought she understood, but the next day, she had her preschool boyfriend over (one that is on her tentative marriage list). Her behaviorist was over as well. They had made an interesting game out of having two giant T-Rex toys pretend to devour the Polly Pocket dolls! After the dinos had their dinner, they went to bed, then woke up to get dressed and go to school the next day. It all seemed innocent enough (except for the Polly Pocket carnage), but I missed a key bit of dialogue between my daughter and her boyfriend.
Apparently, during the "dinner" part of the play, my daughter shouted out that the dinosaurs ate the vagina of one doll and the "tushie" off another! Yikes! So much for my talk with her. The behaviorist instructed my husband and I to just not react when she uses that word in the future. No grimacing. No laughing. No lecturing. It won't be easy!
So that was it! Why am I proud of this title? Well, I think it's friggin' hilarious! It's also a great play on words based on the play, "The Vagina Monologues." Also, it really accurately describes the post perfectly! So, it's my favorite title so far! I hope you like it too.