After the water balloon fight, the behaviorist came over to watch me run the playdate and to coach me when needed. Since we're losing the behaviorist services soon, all the effort is now on me and the job I'm doing.
The playdate was going pretty well. In general, these two girls play well together. Then snack-time came. As I opened my pantry to see what I had to offer the girls, my daughter's friend peeked in and immediately noticed my hidden stash of chocolate. "I want what's in that bag!" she announced. "I'm sorry!" I replied, "But that's for special occasions only." Yeah, like when I'm having a meltdown every day! I can't believe that little girl sniffed out chocolate in under a second. She's good.
"Well, can I have those Spongebob Squarepants fruit snacks?" "Sure!" I said, relieved that her eyes were off the chocolate. "But you have to have these crackers too since you need something more substantive in your body!" I gave my daughter the same snack then offered both girls water or lemonade. They both opted for lemonade.
After the snack, the mother of my daughter's friend was coming to pick her up soon. So, I suggested they quickly finished up the game they were playing, then clean up the game. They did quickly finish the game, but then the playdate took a bad turn. My daughter's friend refused to help clean up. She started getting wild, throwing game pieces around. My daughter happily joined in. She loves to mirror what she sees happening around her. I looked at the behaviorist is disbelief and said,"Wow! Maybe I shouldn't have given them a sugary snack!" The behaviorist nodded. Their behavior turned on a dime.
The mother came on time for pickup and asked how things went. I told her they went great until the last twenty minutes or so, after they had their snack. She looked at me and said, "You didn't give my daughter sugar did you? I left you a message warning you not to give her sugar!" I told her I didn't get the message. She told me that she left me the message on Facebook. Okay, normally that is the best way to leave me a message. But I was so busy really engaging the girls that I never had a chance to go online during the playdate. Sure enough after they left, I looked at my Facebook messages. I may be exaggerating a little, but the message went something like, "Whatever you do, don't give my daughter ANY sugar. It makes her hyper." Okay, lesson learned. I'll never make that mistake again. But man, that girl is good at tracking down sugar!
I don't know what I would do if my daughter couldn't handle sugar. It's been such a vital part of her behavior therapy. It's what motivates her to be less rigid, to not tantrum as much. Don't get me wrong, I do try to limit her sugar to a certain degree. But treats do play a part in her life. Because of the way we use treats as motivators, they play an important part in her behavior therapy.
I don't know what I'd do without sugar!