For example, last week, my husband playfully tossed one of her barrettes at her, and she blocked it with her body. She yelled out, "I caught it with my vagina!" A few days later, as we were expecting my sister, brother-in-law, and nephews to arrive, we were playing a board game. She sat on some of the pieces and said, "They're hiding under my vagina!"
At this point, I realized that I needed to have a talk with her about discretion. I told her that "vagina" was a perfectly good word to use, but it shouldn't be used in front of guests or other people. I asked her if she knew why, and she correctly responded that it was because it was a private body part. She promised me she wouldn't just bring it up in conversation around other people.
I thought she understood, but the next day, she had her preschool boyfriend over (one that is on her tentative marriage list). Her behaviorist was over as well. They had made an interesting game out of having two giant T-Rex toys pretend to devour the Polly Pocket dolls! After the dinos had their dinner, they went to bed, then woke up to get dressed and go to school the next day. It all seemed innocent enough (except for the Polly Pocket carnage), but I missed a key bit of dialogue between my daughter and her boyfriend.
Apparently, during the "dinner" part of the play, my daughter shouted out that the dinosaurs ate the vagina of one doll and the "tushie" off another! Yikes! So much for my talk with her. The behaviorist instructed my husband and I to just not react when she uses that word in the future. No grimacing. No laughing. No lecturing. It won't be easy!
I really disagree with that parenting advice just for this very reason. I just can't stand hearing words like penis and vagina coming out of a kid's mouth. Call me old-fashioned, but I like the cutesy nicknames. Maybe it's because I was terrorized as a babysitter by a little shit that kept asking to see my vagina.
ReplyDeleteOh my! I'm with Lynn, I kind of disagree with that advice as well. I just couldn't handle hearing the words "penis" or "vagina" coming out of my two or three year old's mouth. I'm one of those parents who refer to them as "privates" or "pee pee". I just winced every time I heard it. I think when they're old enough to understand its propaer usage, then they can learn the words!
ReplyDeleteI have to say though, your daughter is pretty funny...sorry!
Ok, that was just so funny! Perhaps that's why so many of us do go with cutesy names. LOL
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ReplyDeleteReminds me when a friend's 9-yo son asked where babies come from. She stopped, mid-rushing around, and drew a diagram with charts and arrows while her 12 and 6-yo sons looked on. The only one who cared a lick was the 6-yo. As a a biology major, she made sure all her sons knew the correct terms and how to use them appropriately. Of course, none of them had aspergers so her job was much easier.
ReplyDeleteAnd this is why I didn't tell my kids the real names. It's bad enough my daughter heard the word balls at school and went around talking about how people were getting hit in the balls all the time. I admire your patience in this - I wouldn't be able to keep my big mouth shut! :)
ReplyDeleteHA! That's pretty funny. Sorry, but it is. I think it's so normal and all kids go through it (mine for sure!).
ReplyDeleteGood luck maintaining your cool on this one.
ReplyDeleteI totally believe in using real names. My kids are 12-19 now. We have used the appropriate names the entire time. Yes, we've had moments like yours. But we have also had open dialogue about maturation and sex. My kids know that they are free to discuss anything with me so they do. I know they are getting their info from me instead of their friends, which brings me great comfort. It's impossible to have a comfortable conversation about sex with your teenager when you've been dodging the issue for years.
I grew up in a sexually repressed house and it has caused me trouble. I was determined that my kids not have the same experience.
You are the mom. Advice or not, do what your gut tells you is right. You know your child and you know yourself. Let that be your guide.
That is so funny! It's a funny word anyway. Maybe that's why she gets a kick out of saying it. Hang in there, SITStah!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry I'm laughing over here. Kids are so funny sometimes. And I've had similar issues with different words. It's probably just a phase, but I wish you luck on your mothering tasks ahead.
ReplyDeleteWith mine it was f**k, heard from some teens in a mall when we were wheeling by with my then barely 2 yr. old in the cart. Suddenly she sounded like ducks on a pond "f**ck f**ck f**ck. I couldn't get the soother into her mouth fast enough. It was sooo embarrassing. We laugh about it now though. :) The real names of body parts? Never a problem. When she asked, I told her and it really didn't come up again.
ReplyDeletewell my problem is similar. we have used particulary normal words for particularly normal situations around here but my child with aspergers doesn't get there is a time and place...so what traspires is that he says these words at school and school and other parents FLIP out at nothing! they misinterpret it etc and think he's psycho.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the part about not making a big deal over it. Unless of course she simply won't stop. And I have to admit...I was chuckling all along the way. Sorry.
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ReplyDeleteWe taught our boys the correct terms, and I've been regretting it ever since. I don't know if it's the Aspergers or boys being boys but I've never heard the word "penis" so much in my life.
ReplyDeletethat would be so hard not to comment to her about it in the future. good luck with it.
ReplyDeleteCaleb: Mom, do you know that boy's penees (our word for penis) don't have bones.
ReplyDeleteMe: (a little surprised as this came out of no where) Is that right! Where did you learn that?
Caleb: (very exasperated with me) I looked at a skeleton and it didn't have one so it can't have bones in it.
Me: (thinking my boy is pretty perceptive) Well that was a good observation.
Caleb: Yeah, then I pinched mine a little and I didn't feel any bones.
Me: (shaking my head with no idea what to say)
Caleb: Does it have the same stuff as in your nose?
(My daughter walks in the room and only hearing the last sentience. She wants to put her two cents in.)
Delilah: The stuff in your nose and your ears that's kinda bendy? That's called cleavage!
Me: It's called cartilage!
HA HA HA HA OMG that is so funny! "I caught it with my vagina!" Sounds like to me that she has her mothers sence of humor. This post made my day...sorry for your shame tho :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sharing this on my facebook ha ha ha.
I cracked up with "I caught it with my vagina!" Good luck not reacting to statements like that! It's hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI've never really had a nickname for it, but my bff of 20+ years used to always refer to it as my momkey. I thought and still do think that's a little weird in a funny sorta way. She also taught this to her autistic daughter. "Wash your monkey, Ari." Too funny!
ReplyDeleteNo laughing? Sorry, no.
ReplyDeleteWe taught our daughter the correct name for her parts, but she had trouble enunciating vagina. For a long time, she referred to her "china" and nobody, not even her dad and I, knew what she was talking about.
ReplyDeleteVery funny. My son is 5 and I JUST had a talk with him to go over the correct words for body parts. We'd been using the cutesy names up until now and I had avoided talking about girls altogether. Since he was asking quesions I thought it was definitely time to share correct information.
ReplyDeleteBut, I am bracing myself for when he decides to break into a chant of penis! penis! penis! at the wrong time.
Happy SITS day! This post is hilarious. Kids are too funny... Hope you enjoy your day
ReplyDeletelol! I caught it with my vagina! Omg, too funny. I'm sure there's so many times as a parent where you have to turn your head to hide your laughter when they do things like that.
ReplyDeletethis is so funny!
ReplyDeleteI was reading the comments, and Lynn's caught my eye. While I understand feeling awkward about the words, it's important to use the correct terms with children.
My friend is a police officer, and he explained that if they are ever molested they have to be able to tell the police what happened without using any cutesy words. It will make the case so much stronger.
That is really funny!
ReplyDeleteMy husband recently verbally doubted the wisdom in teaching my three year the proper names for parts. Luckily he can't pronounce it properly so all of the comments he makes about my vagina go unnoticed by others.
It was nice to meet you. I am glad I stopped by SITS today and caught your blog.
My little one is just starting to talk, but one of the first things he learned was "weenie"-it just happened like that, there was no discussion on proper anatomical terms vs. nicknames, and for a child whose parents are in the medical field, that's unreal! I'm sure we'll let him use nicknames for now and will teach him proper terms later.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine trying to keep a straight face when your child spouts out with "I caught it with my vagina!" though. I would have had to leave the room before I doubled over in laughter.
Take care SITSah!
I would be hard pressed not to bust out laughing every time, especially since she uses it in such awesome context. your daughter has perfect comedic timing!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! I caught it with my vagina! This is good for me to read as I KNOW vagina talk will be coming up soon with my 1- almost 2 yr old who is picking up words SOOO quickly!!!
ReplyDeleteMy girls love the word vagina (they are 2 & 4). They like to fill the word vagina in for lyrics of songs i.e. KeSha's song "YOur Love is My Drug" my two year old sings, "Your love, your love, your love is my vagina." It's awesome!
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!! I don't mean to laugh (as your behaviorist said, don't want to encourage) but HOLY COW, THIS? Is hysterical. It's funny what comes out of their mouths sometimes, eh? Awesome post!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I totally agree with teaching children the correct words for body parts. Eventually they are going to have to know what they are anyway. It's just a matter of how they use it, but you are doing a fantastic job!
lol! I know, we're not supposed to laugh, but it is really funny. My children always knew the real names, but we call them the cutesy names. wee wee and hoo hoo.... I'm saving up for their therapy.
ReplyDeleteLol...that would be hard not to react to. I remember when my (now 4 yr. old) kept repeating the word "penis" over and over. We had little old ladies nearby one time that shot me some dirty looks. What's a mom to do?
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