Wednesday, June 16, 2010

V is for Villain

This is my first real attempt at doing Jenny Matlock's Alphabe-Thursday. I actually did it totally incorrectly a couple of weeks ago and felt like an idiot! So today, I'm trying to do it right. The gist of it is that Jenny is featuring a different letter of the alphabet each week, and people who are involved write their post around that letter and link back to her post. Then, everyone who is participating reads as many blogs as possible, the idea being to increase your readership. The letter this week is V!

V works for me because I was actually going to write about what a villain I am sometimes to my daughter. Okay, I was originally going to use another word that doesn't start with a V, but V works!

One of the issues my daughter with Asperger's has is an inability to control her emotions. She can fly into tantrums over nothing and oftentimes with very little warning. This has been getting better over the past year, thank goodness. However, lately she started doing something new. She sometimes will yell at me over minor things or blame me for things that don't go her way. For example, today she lost a little toy she had at school and immediately started getting cross with me. In her mind, I was at fault since I was carrying her backpack for her when she noticed it wasn't in the side pocket anymore. So here I was, thinking I was being nice for carrying her backpack, and she's treating me like a villain and blaming me for something she did.

I've been working with her to remain calm, use her words politely, and not blame me for things that don't go her way! She is 6 going on 12. I know I've stated this before, but I'm REALLY not looking forward to the teenage years.

21 comments:

  1. I would have a hard time not saying the wrong thing during one of her outburst. This would be a challenge.

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  2. Oy. Tough one. It's got to be frustrating for both of you.

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  3. God bless you both. While I have no first-hand experience with Asperger's, I do care for my elderly mother who requires round the clock care and I have my moments.

    Have you thought about starting a private blog where in you vent? It has helped me enormously.

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  4. I say enjoy the time now because you're gonna need some major wine for the teenage years :) God I remember when I was a teenager, how my mother didn't drown me is still a mystery to me...

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  5. Your a great mom for carring her backpack!!! Teen years are short but seem to go on forever...just think of how great you turned out and know your daughter will do the same.

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  6. oh, the teenage years are gonna be tough, hang in there :D

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  7. Agree with comments above- the teenage years are often the worst.My best wishes to you both.

    LOLA:)

    PS Mine this time is HERE. Hope you can join me!

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  8. Oh my dear! I wish I was an inventory so I could come up with a tongue guard for you...how do not react in these situations must have you bearing a mighty scarred up tongue by now...or at least that's how I used to keep my mouth shut by biting my own.

    What a journey you are on. So filled with worry and things out of your control!

    I'm glad you linked this post with Alphabe-Thursdays letter "V" (which you did perfectly, btw!)

    I hope sharing some of your worries lightens your heart for a moment...

    Teenage years are hard in any circumstance. I suspect your strength and ability to reach out and share pain will help you through!

    A+ from Mrs. Matlock
    And a hug and a prayer from Jenny

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  9. it never ceases to amaze how you seem to have a well of patience when it comes to helping your daughter lead a normal life.

    and for that, i gave you 2 awards! go get it :)

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  10. Yup, my son has Aspergers and he can just flip out over the smallest things. Then he's all, "You've ruined my LIFE!" Ack.

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  11. I think all kids now and then think their parents are villains. You have an extra challenge but I'm sure you'll figure it out. Just keep hanging in there. Great V post.

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  12. My nephew and my friend's daughter both have Asberger's. Life is a challenge for all of them. I have seen my sister-in-law actually appear to biting her tongue. Wil is 16 now and quite taxing. Thank you for sharing this very personal note with us, and I will keep you (and your tongue) in my thoughts.

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  13. I know that it is tough but you have to separate your daughter's actions from your daughter or you will be so resentful. I have had so many students with Asberger's and they are 4 years old and can go completely out-of-control in just a second! I hope that we can be a support to/for you and i hope you know that you are among friends! Feel free to vent and we will always understand. Yuo need this outlet!!!

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  14. LOVE your blog, found you by way of SITS :) and i just became a follower so add me to your growing list *wink* - would love to have you follow me at mangia-bella.blogspot.com - have a glorious day sweet bella

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  15. Asperger's can be a difficult situation to deal with but I think that you are going about it in a positive way. Seek out support groups that will help you now and through the teen years. Thank you for leaving a comment on my blog and, as a retired teacher, I'm here if you need to chat.

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  16. Oh, it must be so difficult for you. Hopefully you are in a good support group where you can lean on each other and share tips and concerns.

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  17. I have thought of joing that alphabet blog hop too...maybe next week.

    we have tantrums too still but less also.

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  18. Your little girl is very blessed with a loving mom. And it sounds like you have others that understand what it is like to have a child or have had experience with children with Asperger's. That is really always a help, to be able to talk with those in the same situation. I know that it really blessed us when our son was going through chemo at age 14 to 15yrs to be able to talk to other families also dealing with childhood cancers. So after the chemo was done and he was healthy, our son and family would also speak & encourage other families.

    Blessings & Aloha!
    thank you for stopping by!

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  19. Raising little ones can often be a challenge. but the times they acts like villains are more than made up for when they act like angels.:-)

    I'm sure your daughter just feels comfortable that you love her so much that she knows can be cranky and wining with you and you will still love her!

    ♥ Pat

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  20. You're no Villain but Guardian Angel dosn't begin with V does it! Great insight into your life - thanks for sharing.

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